A friend of mine recently exclaimed, “Goodness, you are amazing, taking on more work when most people I know are looking at doing less!” Her comments stopped me in my tracks. I hadn’t thought of the new project that I had taken on as work. It felt more like a fun and exciting thing to do. It made me stop and consider how we view the things we do in life, especially as we are growing older, and what this means for us.
As a body confidence expert and age empowerment and fitness coach, I work with people of all ages who are interested in living their most authentic and fulfilling lives. One of the greatest things I have discovered is that our passion and sense of purpose don’t necessarily diminish as we grow older; however, they may change in focus, direction and meaning. And, if we can tap into what matters to us in our 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond, we can continue to grow, learn and evolve at every stage in our life.
Grow Bolder Not Older
The old school of thought would have us believe that there is a slow decline as we age and that we should slip silently into invisibleness as we lose our energy and joie de vivre for life. However, this simply isn’t the case.
Indeed, the opposite appears to be true with many people over 60 discovering new possibilities and learning opportunities in their life. We can see the examples of this everywhere if we choose to look. Ultimately, it is not the years of our life that matter but the life in our years that seem to determine our greatest joys, health and vitality.
The old stereotypes are being broken down over and over again as we rethink what it means to grow older and what this looks like for every individual.
Here are my top five tips for living a life full of passion and purpose (no matter what age you are).
1. What Makes You Come Alive or Fills Your Heart with Joy?
This is the essential question when it comes to truly connecting and aligning with your authentic self. It invites you to take stock of what and when you have felt the most alive, joyous and fulfilled. Take some time to gather your thoughts and write out your answers. You may find that some of them are rooted in your earlier years, even as far back as your childhood. The pleasures that we found back then can have a significant meaning on how we live today.
The Clues Are There
For example, perhaps you loved to draw or paint. Or maybe, you found your passion in playing music, singing, cooking or being out in nature. The clues are there. Very often, when we track back to the joys of our earlier years, we discover a theme that has been with us throughout our life and seems to keep calling us back.
A very dear friend of mine loved to dance, and after she retired from her day job, she decided to set up her own Tango classes in London. They have been a huge success and now, in her 80s, she continues to run them, with guest teachers coming in from all over the world. The key is to connect (or reconnect) with what gives you joy and makes you feel alive and then to ask yourself how you can bring these things more into your everyday life.
2. Stay Engaged and Ask Great Questions
Staying informed and engaged with life is key for living really well. Cultivate the attitude of being curious about yourself, your life, others, the world and what is possible for you to achieve. Our brains LOVE novelty. Whenever you do something you have never done before or even move in different ways, your brain “wakes up” out of its old habitual programming and becomes alert and conscious in the moment.
This is important because it helps us to move out of the subconscious default habits and patterns that may have become ingrained within us. There is a saying that life begins out of the comfort zone and in many ways that is true.
Open Up the Windows in Your Mind
When you challenge your old beliefs, habits and patterns you open up windows of possibility and potential. This is exciting because your conscious mind can now begin to focus on what you authentically desire instead of simply repeating patterns from the past. Stay curious about who you are now and whenever you have a self-limiting thought or belief, catch it straight away and ask yourself if it is really true and who would you be without the thought? This can really help you to move out of old conditioning habits and patterns.
3. Create an Attitude of Altitude
How you think about growing older matters. It is the game changer in how you embrace the later years of your life. Our beliefs shape our destinies. As Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.” Every action, every feeling and every behaviour first started with a thought.
When you have thoughts that are supportive, encouraging, helpful and uplifting, you are able to flow past any obstacles or doubts on a positive current of inner belief. However, if you believe that you are too old or that no one would be interested in what you have to say, do, write or create, you put the brakes on and nothing can move forward.
Change Is Exciting
The exciting thing is that we have the power to change the way we think. Just because you have always done things in the same old way for years doesn’t mean that you have to continue. At any stage in your life, you can change the way you think.
How? By becoming super aware of the kind of inner story you are telling yourself day after day. As soon as you catch yourself thinking negatively, fearfully or in an unhelpful way, stop and ask yourself if this thought is helping or hindering you. If it hinders you, then say quietly and firmly in your mind, “cancel and delete” and then put in another more positive, loving and helpful thought that lifts your spirits and supports who you are and what you desire.
4. Re-Connect with Your Purpose
I lost my way in my 40s. Looking back on this period of my life it felt as if I was sleep-walking through my days. I seemed to have lost any kind of direction or purpose and didn’t really know what mattered to me anymore. I felt as if I had lost my purpose in life.
Our purpose can be many things or just one overriding passion that calls us on. As a young woman, my purpose was very clear. I wanted to be a dancer, and all of my focus was on this one all-consuming passion. When I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis in my early 40s, I could no longer teach my dance and fitness classes and felt as if I had no direction in my life. However, I also believe that everything in our life is there to teach us how to grow, learn and become the best version of who we are that we can be.
Arthritis brought me many gifts, and I learnt how to take better care of myself, to rest when I needed to and to enjoy the simple, beautiful things of life. I started to change my diet and adapted exercises to suit the way that I moved. I felt my energy stirring and my passion returning. It was a slow trickle of joy at first and it has blossomed into a bubbling stream of gratitude and appreciation for life, others, myself and this beautiful planet.
Meaning Matters
Purpose is different for everybody, but essentially, it carries with it a meaning that matters to you. It might be found in your family, or nature. It might be something you yearn to experience, such as travelling to distant places. Or it might be in becoming involved with a cause or charity you are passionate about or in helping others in some way.
Perhaps your purpose is a project that is dear to your heart. My uncle began writing and researching a book in his late 50s. This book underwent numerous rewrites and many changes of direction as it evolved over the years. He was still formulating it well into his 80s and finally finished shortly thereafter. This book, I believe, kept him interested, alive and engaged in his life. He lived until past the age of 100.
Take stock of what really matters for you. What do you care about, long to write about or talk about? Is there some unfinished business that you would love to complete? Do you want to start a new project or learn a new skill? The bottom line is that this is your life. At any age you can begin again. You can think a new thought, take a different pathway, learn a new skill, meet new people and create a new experience.
5. Love Yourself!
The relationship that we have with ourselves is one of the most vital and important relationships we will ever have. When we know how to deeply care for ourselves and listen to our own needs, we thrive. Sometimes, loving who we are is challenging. If we get ill or go through great losses, we need to love ourselves even more.
Talk Kindly to Yourself
One of the things that has helped me hugely is to change the inner dialogue that I have with me. We all have an inner voice that provides a running commentary on what we are doing, how we are doing it and how it is being received by others. Very often, this inner story is full of self-judgment, criticism or just feeling not good enough.
The key is to notice what you are telling yourself about yourself and then stop, place your hands over your heart and ask yourself quietly if what you are thinking is really true. Remember who you are and all of the things that you have overcome in your life. Think of all of the people you have uplifted with your smile. Remember all of the ways that you have shared a kind word with someone who needed you. Marvel at the mornings you got out of bed when perhaps you didn’t really want to or felt too tired to go on.
We Are Messy and Magnificent
You are amazing. We are all messy and magnificent. We rise up and we fall over. We laugh and we cry. We are soft and vulnerable and strong and courageous. The relationship that you have with you is the longest one you will ever have. You are with you at the beginning, and you will only say goodbye at the end of your life.
Love yourself enough to follow your dreams. Love yourself enough to live your very best life in whatever way that you can. Love yourself enough to be passionate about your life and care deeply about what you think and feel.
It’s the Little Things That Count
I adore the passion of a well lived day. I love to appreciate all of the small, gorgeous details that life offers. The warming cup of tea in the morning, the trill and chirp of the birds as they start their day, the softness of the grass underneath my feet, the lingering aroma of the roses in summer and the sweet gentle rain that kisses my face on my walks in nature.
My greatest sense of passion and purpose is to live all of the days of my life. To fully be here for all the great stuff and also the not so great. It is in the ordinary moments of our life that we can find such peace and joy and as I write, I am reminded that no moment is ordinary – it is all extraordinary and our lives are such a gift. Take a breath in, swirl it around your heart, exhale on a sigh and bathe in your very own blend of magic.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What brings you alive? What are you passionate about and how does this show up in your life?