No parent wants to have a strenuous relationship with their child. Ideally, families strive for healthy connections, maintaining communication and closeness as children grow into adults and begin their own path in life. However, this is not always a reality, and every parent-child relationship unfolds differently. Relationships between parents and their adult children can sometimes become strained and unhealthy, leading to difficult decisions that are made by either parents or adult children.
In certain situations, parents may feel compelled to distance themselves from their adult children, or even break contact completely, leaving them to wonder if it’s even possible to “divorce” adult children. This difficult choice is often accompanied by a mix of emotions, as it is typically the last thing parents want to do but feel they must.
Is It Possible to Divorce Adult Children?
Legally speaking, it’s not possible to divorce adult children, as divorce refers to ending and effectively dissolving a marriage. However, the term is often used to describe the act of disowning or excluding children from a parent’s life. This may mean preventing the child from having any inheritance or rights to an estate after the parent’s death.
While parents are legally obligated to care for and support their minor children, this obligation ends when the child turns 18. After children reach the age of majority, parents are not required to provide financial support or maintain any specific relationship with their adult children, even though many do, regardless of whether it is healthy or not.
If a relationship becomes strained or if a situation leads to a complete breakdown of contact, parents might choose to “divorce” their adult children, otherwise known as disown their children, by taking various actions, including cutting off all contact. These actions symbolize a final severance of the parental relationship with their children, reflecting the depth of the estrangement.
Is Disowning a Legal Process?
Choosing to disown an adult child by cutting off communication or stopping financial assistance is not typically a formal legal process. However, if you wish to make sure that they do not inherit anything from your estate after your passing, you may need to look at the legal process of disinheriting them. A divorce lawyer can assist parents with this by drafting a will with specific language that clearly states your intentions to not provide any rights to the disowned child.
How to Disinherit an Adult Child
Since children are generally considered to be heirs to their parents’ assets, including finances, debts, and estates, disinheriting a child requires precise and unquestionable wording in a will. A divorce lawyer can help you include the necessary provisions in your will to exclude the child, and if desired, their descendants as well.
To strengthen your decision to effectively disinherit an adult child when parents choose to divorce adult children, it is recommended to:
Document your reasons for disinheriting your adult child, including any scenarios or communication that caused the decision to be made.
Make sure to document your mental clarity at the time of signing.
Avoid citing reasons that may no longer be relevant.
Consider leaving a small bequest to avoid claims of being forgotten.
Include a no-contest clause to prevent any future legal challenges to the will.
How Do I Go No Contact with My Adult Child?
When parents decide to “divorce” or effectively disown their adult children, they often also wish to have no contact with them as well. There are two primary ways to accomplish this; however, if you wish to legally prevent them from contacting you, it typically requires abuse to be proven, whether it is in the form of mental or physical abuse or threats of abuse.
For those who are not facing threats of physical or mental abuse but wish to divorce their adult children and go no contact, an informal approach may be sufficient. If you are living with the child you want to disown, you can move to a new residence without them and choose not to provide them with your address.
In order to go no contact, you can sever the relationship by ceasing all contact, which will include refusing to accept written or electronic communications. It is also advisable to notify the child in writing that you are severing the connection and no longer wish to have any contact with them. Sending this notification via certified mail can provide proof of your intentions to no longer be in contact with your adult child.
In situations where there is harassment or abuse present, including threats of harm, a more formal legal approach is necessary to go no contact. You can legally terminate the relationship and go no contact by notifying the relative in writing of your decision to sever family ties and by also seeking a restraining order to limit their access to you.
Additionally, you may also be able to obtain a Notice of No Trespass from a city or county official, which will effectively restrain them from being able to step on your property. If violated, the adult child could face criminal charges. If you need any help doing either of these things, a divorce lawyer can help. Legal actions like these help to protect your safety and reinforce your decision to go no contact with your child, as well as prevent any further abuse or harm.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What would make you want to divorce your adult children? Would you disinherit them?