It is time to prepare for this year’s Ageism Awareness Day on October 9th. Words are one of the most powerful forces in shaping how our society thinks of aging and older adults. So, let’s explore the words that we use and that you use to label our stage of life.
Who Is “Old”?
It seems that the perception of who is “old” relates to the age of the person being asked. People in their 20s consider 65 to be “old.” Only 16% of adults over 60 consider 65 to be old! I know people in their 70s who do not consider themselves old, me included. Do you feel “old?”
I don’t intend to discount those of us who are facing health issues and may indeed feel a decline in vitality. The point is that issues that underpin a loss of vitality may happen in any decade, so the problem is the health issue and not just age. Age is not a problem; health issues are a problem.
We are still living with the view that we are in our final years at 65, since that was truly our lifespan a century ago. So, we are all lumped into one group, usually described in terms of being in our last act of life where decline is unavoidable. Do you believe that is true today? More and more professionals are working into their 80s. I know an 80-year-old who just received a 5-figure Google grant for his doctoral research in Physics. My friends who retire from their professions often find new ways to contribute.
What is your mindset? We live out what we believe. On one hand, my 80-year-old friend is earning a doctoral degree in innovative research. Then, another friend is looking at retirement centers that include all-inclusive care, so she can get settled in. The decades after 60 are a personal journey. Overall, we live long enough now that researchers are talking about the stages of the year’s society views as retirement.
Stages of “Retirement” Years
Susan Wilner Golden describes the possible stages of life from 60 on to 100+ in her book Stage (Not Age). As I describe the stages, reflect on your current stage or those you have moved through.
Renaissance
Between 55 and 85 we enter a time of finding a new purpose; maybe after full-time work. We try new activities and refocus on family or volunteer interests, giving them more of our attention. Some of us start new careers or go back to school. This stage is defined by reinvention after building a foundation in earlier decades. Personally, I transitioned from being a professor to joining the positive aging community and coaching women who desire to grow and live well into their 60s and beyond. What about you?
Legacy
We hit this stage between 75 and 100. It is defined by the physical slowdown that most of us navigate. In a way, it is a continuation of the Renaissance stage but adjusted for health concerns. This is the time when the mindset about aging truly has an impact. If we are resilient and accepting, some of our focus moves toward the legacy of our lives. This shift may open new possibilities for our attention.
Extra
This stage is for the increasing numbers of us who live beyond 100 years. Our experience of these years depends on how we have taken care of ourselves to nurture our health span and our mindset. These years usually are a time of needing support.
One woman in her 80s told me that she spends much more time now living in the present, and that is what matters. So, that is a clue to what may lie ahead. I am reading a lovely book that explores the lives of several women in their Legacy and Extra stages of life. You may enjoy The Wisdom Whisperers by Melinda Blau.
We Travel to Our Own Drum
Did you notice the overlap between the stages? At 75, one could be experiencing the Renaissance or the Legacy stage. I think there is even more overlap.
At this time of our lives, we know people “age” at different rates. There are so many factors at play, from genes, to attitude, to affluence, to location. So, we want the freedom to be who we are in the years after 60. Right now, our society consolidates us into one generic category of “senior.” We want a term, or terms, for our decades of life that allow us to be as vital and valuable to the world as we are.
What Labels Allow for the Stages of Longer Lives
Some of you may be thinking that there are more important issues than identifying words to describe someone over 60. Yes, there are. And the words used may carry with them culturally based stereotypes of us being dependent, of little value, and a burden to society.
Especially in western cultures, these stereotypes impact how we are treated, affecting depression and even the health of the over-60 population. In addition, organizations where we could continue to make meaningful contributions do not recognize our value, given the pervasive stereotypes about cognitive and technical abilities. So, words do matter.
A few years ago, the Stanford Distinguished Careers Institute conducted a project about labels used to describe older people in the United States. I assume at least some of this is true for other western cultures. Some of the words tested include elderhood, vintage, modern elders, new old, distinguished, etc. The “least offensive” term is older adult.
You Choose
I know some women who love the term ‘crone’ because it depicts women’s wisdom. Some women are comfortable with the term senior. I am not. Elder doesn’t work for me either. So, I fall into the ‘older adult’ camp. I also simply say ‘over 60’ or ‘in my 70s.’
What Is True for You?
We each have different experiences and live in different contexts. I’d love to learn about your perspective. What words to describe your age do you prefer? Perhaps you don’t mind any of the cultural labels. Can you sense the stages beyond 60 in your life? What stages have you navigated?