Retirement is like a second adolescence, only with more naps and hopefully, fewer pimples. We’ve spent decades clocking in, clocking out, and now, suddenly, every day is a Saturday. But with all this newfound freedom, the big question looms: What do we do now?
Sure, we could take up golf or start collecting spoons, but that’s just not my thing. In a recent podcast episode with my teacher bestie cohost, (We Didn’t Know Podcast) we decided to throw caution (and common sense) to the wind and brainstorm a list of delightfully ridiculous retirement activities.
Warning: these ideas may cause excessive laughter, side-eye from your children, and an unshakable sense of adventure.
25 Things List
#1: Adopt a Library Shelf
Just like adopting a highway, but cozier. Imagine your name on a plaque as the diligent custodian of the mystery section. You get to keep it clean and tidy, basking in the gratitude of your fellow readers.
#2: Be a NICU Assistant (baby-holding)
Provide comfort to the tiniest humans and get your baby fix without the late-night feedings.
#3: Geriatric Manicurist
Manis and pedis for the elderly might not be glamorous, but it’s rewarding. Imagine the joy of making someone’s day with a fresh coat of glitter nail polish.
#4: Be a Granny Nanny
Combine the joy of grandparenting with the structure of a job, helping working parents with their little ones.
#5: Teach Chair Yoga or Tai Chi
If you’re into wellness, becoming an instructor is a great way to stay fit and share your passion with others.
#6: Run Bingo or Balloon Volleyball in a Long-term Care Facility
Bring joy and excitement to seniors with a well-organized/mildly chaotic game. Plus, you get to be the center of attention.
#7: Be a Professional Duck Caller
Believe it or not, there’s a niche for this. Duck Calling Championships. Enter competitions or just impress your friends at the local pond. It’s also good for improving lung capacity.
#8: Ghost Hunting
Equip yourself with the latest in paranormal investigation technology and explore haunted locales.
#9: Learn Sign Language
Expand your horizons and make travel more enjoyable by mastering a language that I use more and more as my husband gets more and more hard of hearing.
#10: Set Up an Aquarium
Create a peaceful, underwater world in your living room. It’s like having a little slice of the ocean, minus the sand in your shoes.
#11: Raise Monarch Butterflies
I’ve been doing this for over a decade, and it is amazing. Click here to see my last batch of butterfly children: Raise Monarchs!
#12: Carve Soap
Transform some Dial or Dove into miniature works of art. Grandma never let me use those little “guest” soaps, but now we all can lather up!
#13: Be a Museum Docent
Share your love of art, history, or science by guiding visitors through exhibits. How fun to be the all-knowing tour guide.
#14: Volunteer at the Zoo
Help care for animals and educate the public about wildlife conservation. Just don’t try to take a penguin home.
#15: Be a Podcaster
Share your stories, hobbies, and interests with the world through your very own podcast. Your grandkids will think you’re cool (finally). Here’s a link to mine: Teacher Podcast.
#16: Storm Chasing
If you have a passion for weather, why not get up close and personal with it? Just remember to hold on to your hat.
#17: Be a Forager
Everything is edible, at least once. Test your survival skills and see if you can find dinner in the wild. (I know, I know, poisoning oneself is not funny. Start with something obvious and get the proper training, people!)
#18: Metal Detecting
Hunt for buried treasure and maybe even find something valuable. Or just enjoy the thrill of the hunt.
#19: Become a Model
Show the world what a “Mother of the Bride” dress should really look like on an actual “Mother of the Bride.” Embrace your silver years with style. Who says you can’t be a swimsuit model at 70?
#20: Skydive
Take the plunge – literally. If you’ve never tried it, indoor skydiving is a good place to start. Or just lie down on your bed and pretend.
#21: Be Crafty
Have you been to a craft store lately? If you can’t find a fun hobby there, you are too picky.
#22: Sell Sandwiches Out of a Camper
Turn your camper into a mobile food truck and hit the road, selling delicious homemade sandwiches. I’m sure there are some sort of health regulations with this one, but see how long you can get away with it!
#23: Write Children’s Books
Share your wisdom and creativity with the next generation through storytelling. Who knows, you might be the next Beverly Cleary.
#24: Be a Shusher
Keep the peace in places that require quiet, like libraries or cathedrals. It’s a great way to channel your inner librarian.
#25: Marie Kondo Your Place
Embrace minimalism and declutter your life, keeping only what sparks joy. And maybe a few things that trigger mild amusement.
Final Thoughts
So, there you have it – a retirement bucket list that’s just a drop in the bucket. Whether you’re skydiving into your golden years or just dipping your manicured toes into a new hobby, remember that retirement isn’t just the end of one chapter; it’s the start of a new book entirely. One where you get to write all the wild, wacky, and wonderful things you never had time for.
So, let’s raise a glass (or a sandwich from your new camper food truck) to staying relevant, adventurous, and hilarious. Because if we can’t laugh at ourselves, what’s the point of living on our own terms? Cheers to rocking retirement – your way!
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Continue the brainstorm… What is your kooky, clever, or creative activity someone else might want to put on their “Retirement To-do List?” Have you done something out of the ordinary in your retirement (or ever) that you would be willing to share? Do you already do some of the things on my list of 25 things? Do you enjoy them? Tell your story! We all know that there are the activities like knitting, traveling, and pickleball associated with retirement. What typical activities have brought you joy? Why?