Now that we’re officially in the embrace of autumn, I can reflect back on this real “mixed bag” of a summer. I was able to spend lots of great time with my grandchildren. We had a wonderful family week at the lake. There were a lot of happy days to be grateful for.
At the same time, I was getting my mother settled into a long term care situation and packing up her apartment. And my dad and stepmom came up for their yearly summer stay with us and while they’ve been here, my stepmom was taken to the ER and diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer.
My stepmom has always been a dynamo. Teeny tiny and constantly in motion – walking, golfing, playing tennis, cooking, and generally bouncing from activity to activity. I have watched her throughout my life, always planning the next thing. Only in the past couple of years have I noticed her taking the time to be present. To revel in the moment.
I’m glad she does this. I find myself wishing she’d started sooner.
The Value in Being Present
About 10 years ago or so, my dad and stepmom took all of us on a cruise. My siblings, our spouses, kids and parents were all together for the first time in a long time. On our first night on the ship, all of us were gathered in my parents’ suite, laughing and talking. My stepmom said, “What will be our next trip? We HAVE to do this again!” My immediate response was, “Let’s enjoy this trip! This is the one we are on!”
This was years before I had started my practice of being present. But it struck me that here we were starting out a trip and she was already working on planning the next one. I understand that she loves to have something to look forward to, but that takes away from the current experience.
It is so important to be able to take in the emotions of the present moment. Whatever they might be!
Being Present Increases Our Overall Happiness and Health
When we are truly present in a particular moment or event, we are not worrying about something completely unrelated. As I look back on my many moments of NOT being present, many of the things that I thought to worry about were things that ended up NEVER happening.
We are removing stress from our mind and body in that moment of presence.
Even in sad moments, when we are fully present, we are able to find gratitude. It just happens.
All of this gives us not only better mental health, but better physical health, as well.
Being Present Increases Our Ability to Be Self-Aware
In addition to fully feeling our emotions in the moment, whether they be positive or negative, when we are present, we are more aware of invasive thoughts that might be coming from a place of anxiety or fear, rather than reality.
Self-awareness doesn’t necessarily make the thoughts go away. But the process of being more aware of where our thoughts are coming from can enable us to do things that we want to do in spite of fear or anxiety. We get more done when we are self-aware, because of this clearer understanding. We are less likely to allow anxieties, which often come from a lifetime of faulty core beliefs, to stop us from participating in life.
It is sad to consider how much of life is missed when we are constantly onto the next thing in our thoughts.
Eckhart Tolle said:
“Most humans are never fully present in the now because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.”
I encourage you to really reflect on that quote. It’s powerful and not how I would choose to live the rest of my life.
How About You?
Do you find yourself constantly thinking about what might be “happening next” or do you tend to be more present overall? What are some small ways that you can start to practice being more present in your everyday life?