As the years and decades fly by, too often we think of ourselves as “over the hill,” done with the fun and exciting things that life has to offer. By the time we get to 60 and then some, it seems there’s nothing much to look forward to, other than quiet times on the couch surfing TV channels.
What Brings You Joy?
There’s still a big bright beautiful world out there, and it’s not just for the younger generations. On the contrary, there’s plenty for all of us, at any age, to enjoy. But going forward, in any direction, inevitably involves change, and that’s where we stop ourselves.
Yes, I said stop ourselves, because the greatest push-back comes from what we say to ourselves, as in “I couldn’t learn that now,” “I’m too old,” “I wouldn’t know where to start.” Whereupon we sigh, sit back down on the couch, and resign ourselves to letting other people (as in younger people) engage in life.
What a waste. Frankly, we literally cut years off our lives by such self-talk. It’s been long known that optimists, those characterized by their hopeful and confident attitude about the future, thrive. Optimists not only do better at work, school and sports, they recover from setbacks more quickly and are less likely to become depressed. They are happier, calmer and generally at peace with themselves and life. Significantly, the research shows that optimists tend to be healthier, live longer, and age well.
A Different Way of Looking at Things
Recent research that tracked the lifespan of nearly 160,000 women aged between 50 to 79 for a period of 26 years, found that not only did those who scored highest on the optimist scales live longer, but that optimists were more likely to live into their 90s, which is considered “exceptional longevity.”
Betty Brussel is a wonderful example of a “exceptional long-liver” who refused to let the years in her life prevent her from engaging fully in life. At 100, Betty celebrated three world records she broke in the swimming pool: the 400-metre freestyle, the 50-metre breaststroke, and the 50-metre backstroke.
Quite a coup for a woman who only began competing at 68 after raising her family. Betty, originally from Holland, began swimming in the canals around Amsterdam, and once she moved to Canada, swam when she could find the time. But it’s only in her senior years that Betty was able to fully commit to swimming, which led to her winning medal after medal.
How do you get there? How do you develop an optimistic mindset that would get you off the couch and happily back into life? No, you don’t have to be born an optimist, you don’t even have to have been one for most of your life, you just have to be willing to adopt a different way of looking at things, right from where you are.
All it takes is asking yourself “What if?” in a positive and hopeful direction. For example, let’s say you’ve always wanted to square dance; it looks like such fun. But then you say to yourself, “Who am I kidding? Me, dance? I hardly know my left foot from my right.” So much for that idea. Back you go to the couch for more mindless, unfulfilling channel surfing.
Yet if you went in the direction of a positive “What if?” one more motivated by curiosity than by self-criticism, you might say, “Maybe there’s a class somewhere, where I could learn how to square dance. I mean, everybody’s got to start somewhere. Not all square dancers are born that way, dosie-dosie-ing from birth. Maybe I’ll try to find one.” You’re off and running. You used your “What if?” to get going along an optimistic path, instead of letting it drag you down a rabbit hole of dreary unfulfillment.
After all, if Betty had said to herself, “Competitive swimming? At my age? Who am I kidding?” she would have missed out on the fun and all those medals.
A simple “What if?” asked with positive curiosity, rather than negative dream-killing is all it takes to begin to develop an optimistic mindset, a hopeful and confident way of looking at the world, your world, which in turn will bring you greater health and happiness.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What new thing have you thought about doing but haven’t? Did you start something new and fun recently? If so, what?