This January, I’ll start my 79th year. I’m part of a large aging population in America. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2030, all baby boomers like me will be older than 65.
By 2034, there will be more older adults than children
age 18 and younger. Europe is headed on this same demographic path.
Unlike many of my friends, I didn’t retire in my 60s. Instead,
I left full-time work at age 67 for a stimulating “encore career” of writing,
speaking, and doing research – empowering
widows financially and assisting their advisors.
What began as a limited venture quickly morphed into a
full-time focus for six more years, including almost 300 presentations plus
over 150 publications by me or others mentioning my efforts.
I’ve greatly enjoyed this chapter of my life that’s
offered challenging work and meeting interesting new people.
Change Is in the Air, Again
But it’s time for a change. That’s partly because I have less physical stamina now. I’m ready to stop sleeping in hotel beds and eating conference food many days every month.
My flights are frequently delayed or canceled.
Overnight stays in busy airports aren’t fun either! I also miss my friends and
activities here at home.
While thinking about how to move into my next phase of
life, I remembered the end of a poem I love, “In Blackwater Woods” by Mary
Oliver:
“And, when the time comes to let go,
to let go.”
These lines spoke to me about letting go of my encore
career. Yes, I’ve truly loved the work I’ve done, but now it’s time to turn a
new page. I also want to leave now while I’m still on top, rather than slowly
slipping into oblivion.
But I don’t want an old-fashioned retirement that some
older adults embrace in their so-called golden years (I never liked that term!)
– retreating from life, resting, and then dying fairly
soon.
I would prefer to step into a full life where I can
give more of myself in a new phase. Simply, I want to refire, rather than
retire.
In their guide to midlife and beyond, Gambone,
Whittlinger, and Magnuson coin the word refirement as an opportunity to
delve into who you want to be and what you want to do for the rest of your
life.
I first heard this word 20+ years ago, and although it never became popular, I knew it could be a good fit for me.
Seven Questions to Help Define
What You Really Want
Here are the questions that helped shape my current
direction toward refirement. Perhaps pondering these will spark your own
thoughts about the choices you might make.
What Would Your Younger Self
Tell You About Your Best Future Self?
I can envision the five-year-old version of Kathleen saying
that I need to have more fun. I don’t play as often as I could. That’s great
advice for my next chapter.
What Did You Love Long Ago That
You Can Love Again?
For me, art has always been a passion. I actually began
as an art major in college; however, I soon saw my hippie artist friends struggling
to sell their work and not being able to meet even their basic needs. So, I
decided on a career that paid a salary and became a teacher.
Today, I’m in a different place where I can do art for
personal enjoyment. I recently enrolled in a sketching class. I also used to
write little poems as a child, and I’ve taken up that again.
What Do You Value Most?
Defining what’s important to me, I completed a “Rating Your Life Values” activity. This helped identify my priorities for the coming years: intimacy/friendship/love, health, service, aesthetics, and generosity.
I especially treasure friends and family. It’s true
that loneliness kills. According to an ongoing Harvard study
that’s continued for almost 80 years, “embracing community helps us live longer,
and be happier.” I’m definitely focused on making new connections and keeping
old ones.
What Do You Visualize for Your
Future?
A few years ago, when I started thinking about my
future, I created a touchstone poster with pictures. There I featured a photo
of my little grandson because I wanted more time with him. Another picture was
of me with my partner Charlie. I wanted more time with him too.
I put up a “For Sale” sign on the poster to help sell
my house. At the same time, I added a picture of downtown St. Petersburg, Florida,
where I hoped to buy a condo near the bay.
Another picture was of Dame Judy Dench, with her
stylish short gray hair. She inspired me to change my hairstyle for a fresh
look. Now I’m replacing those achieved pictures with new ones to help direct my
energies toward refirement.
What’s Your Purpose?
A growing body of literature suggests that having a
strong sense of purpose in life leads to improvements in physical and mental
health, plus it enhances overall quality of life.
Purpose can make life more meaningful and encourage us
to become more resilient. Quite possibly, it can even lengthen our lives.
I’ve already started working as a volunteer for three
nonprofits with special projects using my skills and talents. I’ll joyfully offer
my services to other organizations when I’m fully refired! Helping my family is
also a significant way for me to give.
What Will Be Your Lasting
Legacy?
I wrote the Legacy Lifeprint© eBooklet (free at this link) to help others share their stories, values, and aspirations with family and friends.
We’re the ones with the memories. These stories can be
a written legacy for our families and friends. Love is eternal, but life isn’t.
Refirement is a perfect time to write our stories before we’re gone.
Anything Else?
I love to learn and create new things. So, I’ll take a
variety of classes at a nearby college or register for an online offering. It’s
fulfilling to design a new program, event, or activity for a group.
I like to explore new places and faces. Yoga, morning
walks, and bicycling are my favorite forms of exercise – all good for refirement.
Create a Refirement Wheel with
What Matters Most
In summary, most important for me are family, fun/play, focused purpose, friends, and fitness. I’ve posted this graphic where I see it every day. And I’ve already started giving time and energy to some aspects shown on my refirement wheel.
I’m looking forward to January when I’ll complete my
transition of letting go of what I loved before as I give more time to my next
fulfilling chapter. Your wheel may resemble mine or look quite different, it
all depends on your priorities and passions.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Are you living a more traditional retirement lifestyle or planning on it when you leave full-time work? Or have you figured out what you especially want to do with the rest of your life and are refired now or plan to refire in the future? Please share your thoughts with our community and let’s have a discussion.