My relationship with alcohol began in my teens when I felt I had discovered a magic potion! I believed I had found “the answer” and could now socialise with confidence. I continued to use it socially into my 20s and 30s but during my 40s it became more of a coping mechanism to deal with the stress of being a working mom.
In my 50s it turned into something darker – dependence. That was the period when I finally got worried about the bottle of wine I was putting away most evenings. I googled the “low risk limits” and discovered that drinking less than a bottle and a half of wine a week was the recommendation!
It was trying (and failing) to moderate or quit that made me realise the extent of my dependence… and the harm it was doing to my health. I’d already had breast cancer (breast cancer is now firmly linked to heavy drinking) and was having more and more blackouts which indicated that I could be harming my brain as well.
A doctor once told me that we can do more or less what we like until we are 40, but as we get older, we have to start taking care of ourselves. It wasn’t until I was 63 that I finally accepted that I had to make a change.
After 9 years of healthy and happy alcohol free living, my only regret is that I didn’t do this sooner!
7 Reasons Why Alcohol and Aging Don’t Mix
If you’re still undecided, let me share my 7 reasons why drinking alcohol is your #1 enemy past 60.
1. It Begins to Take so Much More Than It Gives
Towards the end of my drinking career, I realised that I could drink a bottle of wine… and feel nothing at all. Our tolerance levels increase which means that the “buzz” we used to get after a couple of glasses of wine just doesn’t happen anymore.
We continue to drink out of habit. Being a “drinker” has become part of our identity and is often deeply entrenched in our social life. We continue to risk our physical and mental health with a habit that no longer enhances our lives in any way.
Once we realise that alcohol is no longer serving us, and is taking more than it’s giving, then we can start making some lifestyle changes.
2. Hangovers Get Worse
In my 20s and 30s, I could party hard and go to work the next day. Even when I did suffer a serious hangover, I would shake it off by the end of the afternoon and even be ready for a cheeky glass of wine at 5pm.
However, the mornings after got worse as I got older and the hangovers developed into Hangxiety which seemed to last all day long.
Nausea, anxiety, upset stomach and fatigue made me question whether it was worth it. The price was becoming too high. I seemed to have lost my “off” switch, and once I’d had a couple of drinks I just wanted more.
3. Alcohol Will Accelerate the Aging Process
Evidence shows that heavy drinking can cause the symptoms of aging to appear earlier than normal. Hypertension, cancers, gastrointestinal disorders and bone loss to name but a few.
Our bodies have less water and become more fragile as we age which means we are less able to cope with a neurotoxin like alcohol.
Here are 6 reasons to quit drinking at 60 and the common habit that causes early death.
4. Mental Health – Anxiety and Depression
Getting older has many challenges – it’s “not for sissies,” as they say!
We need to develop resilience to cope with these challenges and look after our mental health. Drinking alcohol is like pouring gasoline on our anxiety which is the very last thing we need.
I used to pour myself a glass of wine to cheer myself up if I was feeling low. Now that I understand that alcohol is a depressant, I realise that although it might temporarily lift my mood, it would soon drop me down again.
5. The Damage Catches Up with Us
The mental and physical damage is incremental, and by the time we enter middle age, there is evidence that heavy drinkers are paying a high price for their habit.
Not only are we damaging our liver, but we are putting every organ of our body at risk. Alcohol is now linked to 7 types of cancer and more than 60 diseases. We increase our risk of a heart attack or stroke as well as dementia.
20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years, and it’s often in later life that we realise how much we rely on those early evening drinks to “take the edge off.” Alcohol dependence is a slippery slope and the sooner we step off it the easier it will be.
6. Health Issues Increase
A negative loop can be created, whereby the alcohol impairs the effectiveness of the body’s organs, this further reduces the body’s ability to process alcohol, which in turn undermines the body further.
On top of this, the body and brain’s capacity to recover generally declines with age. The damage wreaked by alcohol takes much longer to heal or can be permanent.
It was the combination of my breast cancer and increasing blackouts that finally convinced me that I had to stop damaging my brain and body.
7. Socially Less Acceptable
I believe that alcohol is heading for a “cigarette moment.”
Many people quit smoking once the fact that smoking caused lung cancer was in the public domain. I believe the same thing will happen with alcohol and we are seeing more articles (like this one!) about the damage that alcohol can do.
Alcohol doesn’t really fit into the “wellness” trend, and there’s something a little sad about older heavy drinkers. A bar that’s populated by people who’ve been boozing for decades can be a depressing place.
It’s (finally) becoming cool to be sober, and it’s the younger people who are driving this trend. 25% of young people in the UK don’t drink alcohol!
Once we’ve accepted that we need to quit (or at least cut down), we have to work out how to do it!
How to Quit (or Moderate) Drinking
My previous attempts at moderating my alcohol consumption had failed numerous times, so it was an all-or-nothing choice for me. Fortunately, quitting turned out to be more of a joy and relief than any sort of ordeal.
It takes time and energy to build a new, alcohol-free identity if drinking has been a part of your life for many years. Drinking habits become ingrained and alcohol is addictive. However, breaking free is definitely worth the trouble, in my experience.
The alternative to quitting for me was worse hangovers, accelerated health decline, and increased dislocation from a normal social life. When considered in those stark terms, the decision to quit was really a no-brainer.
If you want to cut down your alcohol consumption to the low risk limit of one and a half bottles of wine (or 6 beers) a week, then you’ll need to have a couple of alcohol free months to give yourself a fighting chance to change your habits.
Top Ten Hacks to Change your Relationship with Alcohol
1. Change Your Thinking… About Drinking
We’ve been brainwashed for decades into believing that alcohol is fun, essential for socializing and will help us to relax. The combination of marketing and social pressure has left us with “false beliefs” about the necessity of drinking alcohol. We need to work on overturning those beliefs, and if you are ready to do that then read this article.
2. Find Your Whys
Many of us have resolved to take a break from alcohol, but after a couple of weeks, we grow bored with the challenge. We need to stay strong and focused and the best way to do that is to make a list of why you are doing this. Is it to improve your health or your relationships or to get fit or something else? Make a list of your whys and look at them every single day.
3. Avoid the Moderation Trap
I personally spent more than a decade stuck in this miserable place. I just couldn’t imagine my life without my beloved Sauvignon Blanc, so decided I would just cut down. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the “low risk” limits are a bottle and a half of wine a week. So, I tried (and failed) to drink within those limits again and again. I finally accepted that I was dependent and would have to quit. Spoiler alert: It’s easier to quit than moderate, who knew?
4. Don’t Fear Failure
Many people don’t even get started on this life changing journey because they worry that they will fail. The truth is that you may fail, over and over. You may have many “Day Ones,” but the important thing is to keep trying. Log your alcohol-free days and aim for longer and longer Sober Stretches until it sticks. This journey is about progress not perfection.
5. Have Your Reasons Ready
Whether you are merely taking a break or want to explore an alcohol-free lifestyle, be prepared for questions! Alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking. The best way to deal with this is to keep it light – “I’ve not been sleeping well so want to take a break from alcohol” is a good one. As a follow up you can say, “I’ve been alcohol free for a few weeks and feel fantastic!”
6. Use a Tracker
If you mark your day as alcohol-free in the morning you are less likely to spoil it by drinking in the evening. Whether you are taking a break for 5 days, 30 days or a year, drop me an email janet@tribesober.com and I’ll send you one of our awesome trackers. We even have a tracker for 66 days which is the period that neuroscientists recommend to change your habit. Stick the tracker on the fridge and watch those alcohol-free days mount up!
7. Play the Movie Forward
Whether you are tempted to drink or facing a boozy social event, this is a great technique to use. If it’s a craving, then imagine what will happen after that “one drink” you are fantasising about. The chances are it will lead to another and even another which may result in that 3am wake-up call when the anxiety kicks in. If it’s a social event, then play the movie forward by planning what you’ll be drinking in advance.
8. Don’t Be Depressed!
If you love your wine, then you will miss it at first, but hang in there and you will start to experience the benefits of alcohol-free living. Your skin will glow, your eyes will sparkle, and you will start to love mornings! There are thousands of delicious alcohol-free drinks available these days so there’s no need to feel deprived at all. Get excited about embarking on this life changing journey!
9. Acknowledge the Health Risks
As we know, “nobody gets out of here alive” but that doesn’t mean we can’t make every effort to Live Long and Die Well. I am convinced that giving up alcohol is absolutely the best thing we can do for our health and happiness as we age. We can Stay Younger Longer.
10. Don’t Go It Alone
For some of us, it’s not until we try to take a break from alcohol that we realize that we’ve become dependent. If we try to quit drinking alone, we often struggle. Most of us need a community to keep us on track and motivated. We need to be reassured that we are not the only one with this problem and that there is a way out.
If you’d like to join an international community, then check out Tribe Sober.
Invitation to Our Free Bootcamp!
The 5-day Sobriety Bootcamp is hosted on the “Sober Bootcamp” private Facebook Group. (Your Facebook friends will not be able to see that you are a member.)
All live sessions are recorded to suit all time zones. It will be packed with great advice and live training sessions to kickstart your alcohol free lifestyle.
Give it a try – it could just change your life and it’s all absolutely free! Join the group today, chat to the others as you wait for Bootcamp to start.
I’ll be doing an intro talk on September 22nd.
CLICK HERE TO JOIN SOBRIETY BOOTCAMP GROUP
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you take regular breaks from alcohol to improve your health and test your dependence? Does the thought of going 66 days without alcohol make you anxious? Were you aware that the low-risk guideline was just a bottle and a half of wine a week?