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Most of us have a certain amount of disposable income that we need to decide how, and where, to spend. There are always a million things to spend your money on, but basically, it comes down to two things. Do you want to have things, for example, big house, nice car, new clothes, etc.? Or do you want to do things, for example go to a restaurant, watch a show, go on holiday?

Sometimes it is a difficult choice, and we may be torn between the two. I guess then it must come down to what you need, rather than what you want. If you need a new car, you might not be able to have a holiday. Most of us are making these types of choices on a regular basis.

Having

Having things is always nice. We can treat ourselves to a lovely dress, new pair of shoes, etc.; it makes us feel good, and don’t we all deserve it! But how long does that feeling of elation from your purchase really last? How many things have you bought in the past, that you no longer use or wear; that are lying somewhere in a drawer or at the back of your wardrobe? I think that is why car boots are so busy!

Doing

Doing things is a little different. When you do things, you create memories. If you go on holiday, you can remember where you went, what you did, how you felt. You can recall the weather, the sunsets, the people you met, the experiences you had. If you go to the theatre, you can remember the play, the storyline, the actors, the atmosphere.

What’s the Difference?

When youhavethings, they are your responsibility. You have to store them, look after them and, probably, eventually decide to get rid of them. The money you spent on buying them is gone, they are of little value, either financially or emotionally.

When you do things, you are experiencing new things, you are making memories, you are learning, perhaps meeting new people, developing your skills. You can take these memories out any time you want and re-live them over and over again. That sounds like good value for money to me. 🙂

Cost Per Memory

Over the years, I have come to value things differently. I call it ‘my cost per memory’. For example, you are sitting in the most idyllic location, perhaps watching the sunset over the ocean. You order a drink, and it is quite a bit more than you would normally pay. How does that make you feel? Are you ok with the higher price, or does it make you feel a little exploited?

The way I see it is… how often do you remember going to the coffee shop in the high street, or having a glass of wine in your local pub? Will you remember it next month or next year? If I am enjoying the moment in a wonderful location, and the memory will stay with me for a long time, then for me, it is worth the extra money. 🙂

Different Perspectives

I am sure some of you would rather have than do, and that is absolutely fine. You may drive up to your house and get so much pleasure, the cost of owning it is worth it. Or you may wear an expensive dress that makes you feel a million dollars. That’s fantastic!

For me, give me a pair of flip flops and an exciting destination any day. I love adventures! I enjoy the excitement of not knowing who I will meet, or what is going to happen. But we are all different and that is what makes this world, and this community, so truly wonderful! Thank you for being part of it. 🙂

Let’s Start a Conversation:

What do you prefer, having or doing? Do you pay for things based on ‘cost per memory’? What memory can you share of something you bought or did that has stayed with you over the long term?

Get thee behind me summer! In the U.S. we’ve been bombarded by political conventions, extreme heat, and lots of big, fat books. It’s 93° in Chicago as of this writing, but I’m off to the Inside Passage on Thursday for my first visit to Alaska. Rain and 50° are promised. I welcome that, if it does not obscure the mountains and glaciers. On the other hand, that’s plenty of time for reading.

Below are some titles I finished this summer, but since the list is longish, I’ll be splitting into 2 parts.

Blood and Thunder: The Epic Story of Kit Carson and the Conquest of the American West by Hampton Sides (Anchor Books, 2006)

Full disclosure: I’m an American history wonk, especially the settlement of the U.S. Blood and Thunder is a masterpiece of creative non-fiction that brings the opening of the West into vivid detail. During his four years as president, James K. Polk oversaw the greatest territorial expansion of the United States to date.

Polk accomplished this through the annexation of Texas in 1845, the negotiation of the Oregon Treaty with Great Britain in 1846, and the conclusion of the Mexican-American War in 1848. Except for the perimeter and major trails, this new country was unknown except to the Native Americans and Mexicans.

Kit Carson was born in Missouri, trapped in the Rockies and the Sangre de Christo Mountains, and guided wagon trains along the Santa Fe and Oregon trails. He was instrumental in opening Polk’s West and in winning the Civil War in the Western U.S. At his life’s end he was a general in the U.S. Army. He could not read nor write.

Take time to read this book. It’s long – 500 pages – and worth every word. And, if you have not yet visited the Navaho Reservation, spread across four states, put it on your bucket list. Canyon de Chelle will blow you away. We hired a Navaho guide (you cannot enter unless accompanied by a member of the tribe) who walked and climbed with us down and up the steep canyon walls. Memory of a lifetime.

Cahokia Jazz by Francis Spufford (Scribner, 2023)

I’m not a fan of speculative fiction, but Cahokia Jazz has its moments. I grew up in St. Louis with the Cahokia Mounds right across the river. These are the burial monuments of Native Americans living in the area 1050 to 1350 CE. It’s been speculated they had a large and cultured civilization, one of many that spread across North and South America long before the arrival of Europeans.

Cahokia Jazz keeps this civilization alive and independent through the early 1920s. The rest of the United States is divided into North and South and a Mormon state to the West. The Indians are power brokers, served by both black and white citizens. It’s not a great novel, but I admire writers who can create such alternative worlds – and Spufford is a Brit.

The English Understand Wool by Helen DeWitt (Storybook ND, 2022)

A charming little book (70 pages) in which a 17-year-old woman tells her amazing story. It’s full of the lessons learned from her mother who taught her what she needed to do to enjoy le bon vie... One such lesson is, you always have the English tailor your woolens as they understand wool. Just as you buy linen from the Irish and have that tailored by the French.

The writing is austere, as you expect from such a refined person – precise with a lovely surprise ending. Do yourself a favor, read it!

A History of the World in 10 ½ Chapters by Julian Barnes, (Vintage International, 1989)

When this book first appeared, one reviewer for The Guardian considered it a “newfangled romp”– unworthy of a writer of Barnes’s stature. Others worried that Barnes called it a novel when it is really a collection of short stories and an essay. Whatever the intellectuals thought, for me this is a delightful book of stories loosely tied by themes and even characters. And each time I found the breadcrumb that tied one story to an earlier one, I was delighted. A good read.

Roman Fever and Other Stories by Elizabeth Wharton (Scribner, 2012, originally published in 1939)

Edith Wharton is such a great writer! Every time I pick one of her books it surprises me with the freshness of the style and the plot. All the stories in this book are intriguing. “Roman Fever” will leave you “gob-smacked.” Treat yourself to one of the best American writers with this book.

Tell Me Everything: The Story of a Private Investigation by Erika Krouse (Flatiron Books, 2022)

Are you one of those listeners to whom people tell their life stories? Erika Krouse is. She put this skill to clever use, becoming a private investigator involved in notorious litigations. Both she and the lawyer with whom she worked never gave up on the causes they supported. It usually resulted in staggering settlements for the plaintiffs. A good read, especially if you like legal investigation non-fiction.

Flaubert’s Parrott by Julian Barnes (Vintage Books, 1990, first published 1984)

While I loved A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters, Flaubert’s Parrott left me flummoxed and unsatisfied. What the heck is this book? Ten years of sporadic research from which Barnes could not derive a narrative? Flaubert, supposed author of the modern novel (think Madam Bovary), does not seem an interesting subject. Reclusive, arrogant, epileptic (which probably led him to be reclusive), unmarried, great letter writer, a good friend to some – and a lover of parrots. Unless you are a student of French literature, let Mr. Flaubert and his parrots stay undisturbed.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How many books did you manage to read this summer? Which was the season’s highlight and why? What other titles would you recommend to the community?

Lately, this question has been on my mind a lot. I’m past 70 and have been blessed to own my personal business. Yet, because of my age, I am also getting asked this same question by others: “Are you retired?”

I’m not sure if it’s the same for those of you who have worked for someone else and the company retires you, so please give me your feedback if you struggle with this question, too.

As an entrepreneur, I typically hang with a much younger generation of business owners. This can be a good thing in a way because it keeps you “in the know” of the latest tools for personal and professional use. Yet in another way, you might be often seen as the “older one” who surely can’t still be active in the game of life.

Maybe I’m imagining things, but it seems that people judge my retirement status based on my age. I love the power of words and how much fun and impact you can have by adding new words or rearranging them.

So, I’ve decided to come up with something far more creative when asked that question – and thought you too might benefit.

When someone asks me if I am retired, my answer is no. Instead, I say that I am…

Reveling – I Am Taking Great Pleasure in My Success

Make a list of all your successful endeavors that you are proud of, the ones you have worked so hard for. Then you can confidently say, “I’m reveling in the success that I have built. I now have time to do what I want, instead of what is expected.”

Revolting – I Am Breaking from a Constituted Authority

Find something you are willing to fight for and invest your time there. At one time, I fought against an enlarging of a landfill that was going to impact the property values of neighbors and the safety of my children getting to their elementary school. What would you fight against?

Rallying – I Am Calling People Together for a Common Effort

Maybe you’ve found a charitable cause you’re excited about. You are so captivated by that cause, you decide to get involved as a volunteer and travel the world to spread its message.

Radiating – I Am Projecting My Thoughts and Emotions with Cheerfulness

I’m so excited to have control of my hours and minutes that I am radiating at the possibilities of how to fill them. Travel, volunteerism, a new business endeavor. Right now, I am radiating in all the possibilities.

Rambling – I Am Spreading Out Irregularly in Various Directions

I have been tied to this job and this location for so long, that I’ve decided to ramble to different cities and countries. I’m also going to make different choices using automobiles, trains, planes and even boats to do it.

Rectifying – I Am Defining Priorities Around My Needs

I’ve been working for so long, all my personal goals and dreams were put on the back burner. Among them, I didn’t get to spend the time I wanted to with my family members. So, I am rectifying that and making my personal relationships my priority.

Reclaiming – I Am Taking Control of My Own Time Instead of Allowing Others to Use It

I’ve signed up for some art and pottery lessons and want to learn a new language this year.

Regenerating – I Am Recreating Myself

I’ve decided to look at yoga, massage and mediation, and I am now focused on regenerating my life from the inside out. I want to lose weight and get healthier.

Revamping – I Am Restructuring and Reordering My Life

I’ve been interested in interior design for some time, and now I’m revamping my living quarters and giving it a whole new look to go with my new passion.

No matter what your age, you never want to retire from the Game of Life! Statistically, you live seven years longer when you quit your “real job” and have passion for something new.

My Italian grandfather retired as a crane operator to a TV chair and was dead in a year. My French grandfather retired from the Army and became the head of the Horse Show at the Ohio fairgrounds for years and died at 94.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How do you reply to someone when they ask you if you are retired? Next time you are asked about retirement, you will now have a witty and fun answer. Please share your thoughts below.

Anyone who has ever done Pilates or taken a Yoga class knows that one of the great benefits derived from those types of classes is the relaxation and sense of well-being that comes from an hour of deep, deliberate breathing.

Every day, you breathe 20,000 times. It’s one of those things that we all take for granted. You don’t have to remember to breathe, or put it on your calendar, you just do it.

You can go without food for a long time. You can even go without water, for a lesser time. But oxygen you can only live without for a few minutes.

So today’s post is a tribute to the incredible, vitalizing force of oxygen. Lifestyle enthusiasts teach us a lot about eating well and exercise. However, they don’t talk too much about how good nutrition and exercise are important because they also increase our oxygen levels.

Here are some ways that can help you get the most out of that good atmospheric stuff that all of our lives depend upon.

Just Breathe

While “just breathe” is always good advice, “breathe consciously” is better advice. Did you know that your lung capacity decreases with 5% every decade of life?

If you set aside three minutes three times a day to breathe consciously, your stress levels will improve, your blood pressure will drop and your mind will become clearer. As a bonus, you’ll be increasing your lung capacity as well.

It’s All in Your Head

Your brain needs 20% of the body’s oxygen. That means, if you are feeling mentally dull, one of the best ways to increase energy in your brain is to do some deep, deliberate breathing.

The major source of oxygen is from breathing, but please keep in mind that we also get oxygen from what we eat and drink.

Eat Colorfully

Fresh, raw produce in an array of colors is not only the most nutrition dense food – it is also the most alkaline. Alkaline foods increase the oxygen levels in your blood.

Processed Foods Are Not Your Friend

Processed foods are those foods that are canned, boxed, frozen and contain a dozen chemicals that you can’t pronounce. Junk food, fast food, sugary food and bleached food are acidic, and as such, they diminish the oxygen levels in your blood.

Here’s the really sad news, caffeine lover that I am: caffeine is acidic and ditto on the alcohol. Knowing that should stimulate reasonable and educated choices. So make sure that you put a stick of celery in that Bloody Mary!

Monitor Your Stress

Stress depletes oxygen levels in the body. If you work too much or too hard, you’re not getting enough oxygen. Traumatic events and prolonged depression or anxiety deplete oxygen levels, too.

Some stress cannot be avoided, but we can add deep, deliberate breathing exercises to our daily routine to help ameliorate the effects of stress. It literally takes only minutes.

Exercise

We all know that regular exercise gives us energy and keeps us strong and fit. It’s because the body absorbs more oxygen when you exercise. Increased breathing during exercise delivers more oxygen to our system. Trees produce oxygen, so deep breathing in nature is better yet!

Deliberate Breathing

The FDA has actually approved deep breathing as a treatment for lowering both stress levels and blood pressure. Deliberate, deep breathing can also be a natural remedy for tension and headaches.

Portable Breathing Exercises – Take Them Wherever You Go

You can do the following exercises with five repetitions, and it will take you all of two minutes. Choose one that best suits you, or mix them up throughout the day. The results will be noticeable immediately. I like to close my eyes during the exercise, but you don’t have to.

Deliberate Breathing Exercise #1

At your desk or in a comfortable chair, take a deep breath through your nose, filling your belly first, the lower lungs, then the upper lungs.

Hold your breath for a count of three then release all the air through the mouth with an ahhh sound, forcing out every last little bit of air. Repeat five times. I like to do this before I write in the morning, because it clears my head.

Deliberate Breathing Exercise #2

Counting breaths. Breathe through the nose and count as you inhale to your full lung capacity. 1-2-3-4… breathe out softly through slightly pursed lips, counting again 1-2-3-4. You can do this exercise walking or sitting, standing in line, anywhere. Repeat five to six times for best results.

Being mindful and self-nurturing in our lifestyle choices allows us to age vitally and dynamically.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you experience the benefits of deep breathing through Pilates or Yoga? Do you do any breathing exercises during your day? Please share how conscious breathing improves and benefits your life. Hit me up in the comments section!

Are you rushing through life, missing out on its beauty? Do you feel like it’s slipping by too quickly to savor its richness?

Maybe you’re caught up in a whirlwind of problems and obligations or the monotony of mundane routines.

It’s so easy to drift away from mindfulness, to live on autopilot, ticking off tasks while yearning for “something more.” Yet, in doing so, we miss the richness of the present moment, feeling disconnected and not as fully alive as we could be.

So, I’ve been thinking – perhaps it’s time to hit pause, step off the treadmill, and reconnect with the essence of living joyfully.

Joyful living is about breaking free from habitual patterns and rediscovering the peace, gratitude, and wonder in being fully present. It requires a commitment to awareness and a conscious effort to slow down and savor life’s precious moments.

If you could use more joy (couldn’t we all?), try integrating some of these practices into your daily life:

Clean Up Unresolved Matters

Physical and mental clutter distract us from joy. Take stock of what weighs you down – whether it’s a messy closet, unresolved conflicts, or draining relationships – and take proactive steps to clear the clutter.

Creating space in our lives opens the door for joy, peace, and contentment to enter.

Remember the wise words of William James: “Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.”

Focus on Your Own Journey

The temptation to control external circumstances or other people’s actions can lead to frustration and unhappiness. Instead of getting entangled in what you can’t change, redirect your energy towards self-awareness and personal growth.

By nurturing self-understanding and compassion, joy will arise within you, which will naturally radiate outward for the benefit of others.

Embrace Silence and Stillness

In the rush of daily life, the beauty of silence often eludes us. Yet, when we intentionally quiet the noise around us, we discover a profound sense of peace in the stillness.

By incorporating silence into our daily routine, we allow ourselves to bask in the serenity of the present moment, shedding stress and fostering clarity.

Mahatma Gandhi said it best: “In the attitude of silence, the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.”

Practice Generosity

Shift from a lack mindset to one of abundance by giving away what you most want and need from others. Extend attention, love, and understanding generously.

In doing so, you’ll discover that fulfillment lies in enriching the lives of those around you, giving rather than receiving.

Engage Your Senses

Life’s beauty is often found in the simplest moments – if only we take the time to truly experience them. Slow down and engage your senses fully.

Tune in to simple pleasures, whether savoring the taste and smell of food, relishing the touch of a loved one, or marveling at the sights and sounds of nature.

By immersing ourselves in the richness of sensory experiences, we awaken to depth, delight, and connection.

Bestselling author and speaker Gretchen Rubin published an excellent book last year on how exploring the senses can get us out of our heads and into the world.

Check out Life in Five Senses to learn how observing the world around us more closely can change how we feel in amazing ways.

Acknowledge the Good

Don’t overlook the blessings amidst life’s challenges. Take inventory of what’s working well – the comfort of home, the love of friends, cherished family relationships, or life’s simple pleasures.

Cultivating gratitude for the good fosters profound contentment and joy.

Choose to Forgive

Harboring resentment or holding onto grudges only diminishes your capacity for joy. Choose the path of forgiveness – both towards others and yourself.

Learn from your own mistakes and regrets, and then move on. Release the burdens of the past and commit to living in the present moment with an open heart.

Learn from Adversity

Life is full of triumphs and tribulations, each offering valuable lessons for growth. Rather than viewing challenges as obstacles, approach them as opportunities for learning and self-discovery.

Reflect on the patterns that emerge from difficult experiences, and consciously respond with resilience and wisdom.

Cultivate Positivity

Choose to approach life with a positive attitude. Try to replace complaints with patience, criticism with kindness, and negativity with optimism. By cultivating a pleasant demeanor, we uplift our spirits and contribute to a more harmonious world.

This doesn’t mean having a “good vibes only” approach to life and disregarding negative emotions.

Negative emotions can provide important information, leading to beneficial life changes. Yet, we can feel our feelings, express ourselves, and choose to move forward in a positive way.

Go After It

Ultimately, leaning into joy is a profoundly personal journey. Take time to identify what truly brings you happiness and fulfillment and prioritize those pursuits in your life.

Whether it’s creative passions, nurturing relationships, or immersing yourself in nature, honor the things that light up your soul.

Final Thoughts

Joyful living is a decision that requires intention, mindfulness, and a willingness to let go of what no longer serves you.

By incorporating these practices into your daily life, you’ll discover that joy isn’t just an elusive dream; it’s a tangible reality waiting to be embraced.

Let’s Start a Conversation:

What would you suggest to a friend who feels like there’s little joy in her life? What does joyful living mean to you? Is there anything you would add to this toolkit?